I should have become a soldier.. a lonely solider.. responsible for the lives of his men fighting against enemy to survive for himself, for his community and for his ideology if lucky enough..
However though.. I had only a chance of getting 6 months of military training to become an entry-level officer in the army. And as soon as I got the badges of insignia on my shoulders to become a platoon leader, I got discharged from the obligatory military service since I passed the national exam substituting 3 years of service to only 6 months.. The opportunity was given only to the qualified students of having master degree or higher.
I at least enjoyed the military training programs which made me lot closer to the wild nature of human being as a man.. only with his own flesh and brain.. of course with the minimum set of weapons for survival.
I am just on my reflection of those days as a man..
Over night walking for 100km with all the heavy military gears on the back.. Roadside walking for returning to barrack in the midnight watching movie-scene sort of shadows of my colleagues walking in a long row under the headlights of 2 and half trucks.. Trajectory of red-orange color of the bullets in the night by M-60 machine gun.. with good feeling of recoiling for automatic fire.. Military orienteering under the full moon light.. ... and incessant feeling of hunger.. and chilly, chilly and chilly.. everyday in the fall & winter.. I actually like the weird feelings that I had not been accustomed to.. by that time..
Voice is strong and the shoulder is stronger for the men in uniform. However horror and grief for what's coming are haunting around them and traumas is all the time waiting ahead for those who will survive..
* 9th Company.. was one of the best war movies ever made without any Hollywood style extravaganza or dumb blind patriotism revealing the war just as it was.
