여행.. 그리고 생각.. , Chennai Express India 2005

The people at the crosswalk watched me
as I took a pose to take some photos of them.

Then I wondered that
how many people could be affordable to take this express train for travel,
how many people could have a chance
to get out their home town to see more, to experiece more..
to get to know there is much bigger world than where they've been living..

And I wasn't quite sure that which lifestyle is happier..

I'd been travelling a lot
and sometimes I even thought that 
I'd been living on just a tiny little planet called Earth.

However.. does the dimension of physical coverage of space really matters in life..?
.. though it depends on lots of things..

No matter how big scale our life might span,
the depth & richness of our life might not proportional to the the spatial coverage..

So I might envy people who has been living in the same place for a long time
generation after generation with the all the same trees, flowers 
and grasses getting older and matured together with them..
with all the same color of moon waxing and waning with same trajectory..




What a lovely tree with the grand shadow in the late afternoon under the beautiful sky..

The train went up to the mountain right after the departure of the Mumbai Station
and I had a good chance to have such a great view of the mountain ranges
and all the different trees and green field of Western India.

Watching people in a long que wating something always gives me
a kind of nostalgic feeling though I don't know why..

Venders selling light food for passengers were nearly all males
and they were selling some Indian traditional snacks like fried Indian style dumpling..

stay holistic.. as much.. :p

a girl on a blue bike, India June 2006

She looked like a Goddess in Greek & Roman Mythology.
She might be on her way back home from school in that afternoon.
She was smiling.. even..

I tried my 200 mm telescopic lens from distance while my express train was running very fast.

부조리.. 그리고 기차는 오늘도 달린다.., 토론토와 인도에서의 삶에서 스치는 생각

2011년9월 7일 오늘 아침 출근길..토론토에서 내가 좋아하는 24 시간 클래식 뮤직 채널 96.3.
이들의 모토는.. Great music for a crazy world.. :p

첨엔 젊잖은 클래식 스테이션의 슬로건이 뭐 저러냐.. 고 했는데 자꾸 듣다 보니 그럴 듯 한 사실이다.
세상이 미처갈수록 음악이라도 제대로 된 걸 들어야 된다는.. ㅎ

짧막한 7시 뉴스가 흘러 나왔다.

.. 오늘 토론토에서는 애완 동물의 암을 전문적으로 치료하는 센터가 개원합니다.
   주 대상은 개와 고양이인데요, 애완동물들에 대한 사람들의 보살핌이 극진해 지면서
   수명이 늘어난 만큼, 암 발생율이 높아져 애완동물 전용 암 센터가 생겨난 것입니다..

이 뉴스를 듣고 내 머리속을 맴돌기 시작한 단어가 있었다.

.. 부조리..


인간들의 곁에서 충실한 애완의 역할을 하느라 삶의 질이 대폭 향상되며 수명이 엄청나게 연장되어 왔지만
그 부작용의 표상으로 생겨나는 이곳 저곳의 암덩어리와 더불어 힘겹게 살아가야 하는 강아지들.. 고양이들..

자신들의 애완동물 치료에 들이는 엄청난 돈의 액수를 마다 않으며,
애정 가득한 몸짓과 표정으로 그 병들었지만 죽지도 못하는 동물들을 어루만지는 사람들..
정성스럽고 애틋하긴 하지만 기괴함과 우스꽝스러움 역시 함께하는 그 상황.. 부조리라는 말과 함께 출근 시간 내내 떠 올랐다..

인간이 같은 값이면 애완 동물 보다는 곤궁에 처한 다른 인간들을 도우는 게 옳을 것이라는
진부한 내 생각 자체도.. 부조리 한 것 같기도 하다.

금이야 옥이야 온갖 정성으로 키워 놓았더니 급기야 부모를 때려 죽이는 인간이 생겨나는 마당에,
예외없이 제 주인에게 충성을 다하는 애완동물들이 인간보다 더한 대접을 받는다 해서
특별할 건 없는 세상이다.

하지만 뭐든지 정도 문제인 것인 것이다..

인도 여행 중 스믈여섯 시간의 첸나이 익스프레스 기차 여정 중 마주치게 된었던
멀쩡하게 잘 생기고 감수성도 깊을 것 같은.. 그리고 감청색 셔츠를 깨끗하게 입은 이청년은,
광이 번쩍거리는 스테인리스 받침판위에 이것 저것 정성스럽게 포장된 스낵을 놓고선 이제 막 객실안으로 들어설 차례였다.

그런데..
고작 몇 루피 정도일 저 스낵 봉다리 몇십개를 팔기 위해 그가 들인 정성들은 부조리할 정도로 극진했다.

이승에서의 삶이 고단할수록 저승에 대한 극단적 판타지를 부추기는 것은 위로와 구원이라기 보다는 착취가 아닌가..
더군다나 그 종교적 부추킴의 주체측은 무소불위의 권력과 금력 속에 이승의 온갖 달콤함을 다 맛보고 있는 터에..

부조리의 극치는 가장 찾기 힘들어야 할 곳에서 오히려 가장 손쉽게 찾아지는 자기증명적 존재감을 과시하기도 한다.

실험실의 한 햄스터가 다른 햄스터에게 말했다.

'나는 저 학자를 길들였어. 내가 이 버튼을 누를 때마다 저자가 나에게 먹이를 가져다 주지.'

.. 베르나르 베르베르가 그의 신작 '우리의 神들 (Nous les Dieux)' 에서 인용

누구의 눈에는 인간의 이 모든 부조리함이 그저 조크일 뿐일지도 모른다..

bye now..

모래의 江을 천천히 건너며.. , Chennai Express India 2006

I was sitting on the entrance doorstep of the express
while the train was moving slowly crossing the steel bridge.
I felt like I was in the dry sauna.. sooo hot and dry..

I found some coffins in the middle of huge river bed of sands.
I assumed that people might want a big flood in the monsoon season
for the powerful current to carry the coffin to the holy river of Ganges.. for the good of the deads..


열차는 다시 서행을 거듭했고.. 그러면서 나타나는 거대한 모래 江..
철교를 지나는 열차 밖으로 얼굴을 내 밀자
바싹하게 구워진 파삭 파삭한 열기가 얼굴에 부딪혀 화끈거렸다.


일년에 한두차례 큰 물이 지나갈 뿐 언제나 모래의 강이 흐르는 듯
강 한가운데엔 아담한 야자수들이 뻣뻣한 가지를 나부끼며 서 있었는 데
그 주변엔 놀랍게도 몇개의 묘 자리가 만들어져 있었다.

강 한 가운데의 무덤들이라니..


生과 死에 대한 이미지가 곱고 뜨거운 살색 모래색으로 채색되면서 스쳤다.

갠지즈 강에서 몸을 씻으며 영혼을 정화하는 것을 평생 원으로 살아가는 사람들..
이생의 삶을 다하고 깨끗하게 불태워져 그 재가 영생의 강 갠지즈에 뿌려지기를 소원하는 사람들..
하지만 이곳에서 강가 까지는 너무나 먼길..
그래서 강이 범람할 정도의 큰 물이 들어 무덤이 들리우고 관이 떠 내려간다면
모든 강의 어머니 갠지즈 까지 닿을지도 모르는 이곳..

그래서 이곳 인도의 깊은 내륙의 돈없고 순박한 사람들은 이곳에 묘를 썼을지 모르겠다..

얼마 후 첸나이에서 뭄바이 메일(Mumbai Mail) 이라는 열차를 타고 되돌아 가면서 다시 만나게 되는 이 강엔
우기에 내리고 있던 많은 물이 흐르고 있었고, 마을 주민들은 고기 잡이에 여념이 없었다.

bye for now..

야자수 보이는 풍경.., Chennai Express India Summer 2006

A Moments Indulgence


I ask for a moment's indulgence to sit by thy side.
The works that I have in hand I will finish afterwards.


Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite,
and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil.


Today the summer has come at my window with its sighs and murmurs; and
the bees are plying their minstrelsy at the court of the flowering grove.


Now it is time to sit quite, face to face with thee, and to sing
dedication of life in this silent and overflowing leisure.


.. Rabindranath Tagore

I'm sure that I was really lucky to have this kind of beautiful landscape of rural India
while running fast in the express train.. of course with the aid of my telescope lens.. :-)

色 the Colors of India, Mumbai-Chennai Express India 2006

palm trees on the scene.., Chennai Express India Summer 2006

A Moments Indulgence

I ask for a moment's indulgence to sit by thy side.
The works that I have in hand I will finish afterwards.

Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite,
and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil.

Today the summer has come at my window with its sighs and murmurs; and
the bees are plying their minstrelsy at the court of the flowering grove.

Now it is time to sit quite, face to face with thee, and to sing
dedication of life in this silent and overflowing leisure.


.. Rabindranath Tagore

I'm sure that I was really lucky to have this kind of beautiful landscape of rural India
while running fast in the express train.. of course with the aid of my telescope lens..  :-)

life is beautiful.. , Chennai-Express India Summer 2006

Certainly because I don't have any connection with the living creature on this meadow
I have no other filters of thought other than just murmuring.. oh.. beautiful.. so peaceful..

My Chennai-Express was running with its maximum speed
when the train was traversing the Southern Western terrain of grasses and red soil in India.

Shepherds and the cows were standing firmly and proudly on earth.
And the scene made me feel that I was a man from quite different world far from here.
Indeed.. I was a man from the jungle of full of concrete, plastic, indulgence and greed..

As I saw the cows playing in the water I felt so cool and even purified.. :p

a Tribute to Chennai Express, Mumbai to Chennai India Jun 2006

Air conditioned two-tier bed from Mumbai to Chennai
running 1,250 km for 23 and half hours .

This concise but precise description on the express
is too simple for me though to sincerely convey my first & rich taste of India
I much enjoyed throughout the journey in the train..

Almost a full day of traveling by train diagonally across the continent of India
from west coast to east coast was a fairly good gateway to the great landscape
in different terrains and weather belts in the giant country.


During the journey, several people had come and gone for the seats in front of mine.
The shy girl was the first traveler accompanied for couple of hours..
She looked very much an Indian girl with shyness and some level of elegance in gesture..

What a beautiful long blue tail of Chennai Express.. though the stories of life of all the passengers will lot lot longer than that..
The single word 'Express Train' itself is enough for anybody to get excited .. then it doesn't need to mention how much I could get excited by trying the train in the country where I visit for the first time. :-))



She was sitting on the rail under the sunshine in the afternoon.

I used to sitting on the rail in my childhood as well.
I liked the shiny silky warm steel rail though it's not wide enough for comfortable sitting.

My express train was just passing by her with big noise & vibration of diesel engine
but she was just sitting in there not disturbed without any movement.
Pressure of her life might be far heavier than the regular noise or she might be too much absorbed by reading a letter from one of her children working in big city far from home village.

Now I see her round back with bright scarf with sunshine and the scene makes me feel so warm and happy. Hopefully she is quite OK.. :-)
In about two and half hours of departure
the train started ascending to cross the giant mountain ranges..


Wallahs selling chai, local fruits, fried snacks..
were getting busy all of a sudden as the train approached to the platform to stop..

It's always good to see, smell, and taste the local fruits selling in the small station..

I like to stay at the railway station.
People come and go with their companions, heavy luggage
and with something emotional to carry down to their final destination.


Seeing people waiting at the platform makes me getting little bit of nervous,
because I see the faces of people with their woes.. more or less.. in life.

The faces seem to tell me their stories of life..
which have not been easy at all.


It's quite different feeling that I feel at the airline terminal
where I see people with some level of status, even arrogance sometimes
and seemingly no agony at all.

Specifically they are not allowed to carry any big bag
other than brief case or just tiny ones.
And the looks of the people waiting at the air terminal
do not really look like travellers..so to speak..


A glimpse of old remains of Arabic mosque reminded me of the fact that
how rich & long history India has..
Yes, Ancient Ganges culture was one the four cultural origins of human kind.. :-)


feeling of anything approaching to me..
feeling of something away from me..

An the feeling of something sharing or exchanging..
in the meantime.

Life is a collection of debris from those of comes & goes..
with psychological scars
left as just chunks of memories..
.. bulky set of weighted connections among the activated neurons..

sometimes jewels mostly garbage..
though we learn a lot from the garbage..



Now I have no chance in sitting at the entrance steps
with the door wide open in the train in Korea, Canada
or other developed countries.
But I have a good memory of doing exactly same thing
the men at the picture were doing when I was in school in early 1980..
We talked about our girl friends, mostly political situations,
and what our life would like to be over the beers,
and sang lots of songs hoping for better future
and condemning political reality.. on the train running fast..
with the door wide open
with all the swirling wind rushing onto our faces.

We were so happy together on the rail..
listening and feeling the constant rhythm of the running steel horse.



After the couple of blinks of eyes..
the train running the opposite direction had gone away far..

How many people we've been passing by
without saying hello,
without shaking hand with,
without giving even a glance..
though if we did
they might have been my husband, wife or life-long friend...

What an unbearable lightness of life..



Isn't it pretty?
The colors of the engine quite well matched with the flowers fully blossomed in the tree nearby..



The people at the crossroad watched me who was eagerly taking photos of themselves..

I thought that how many people took a chance to try this express train,
how many people could have a chance
to get out their home town to see more, to experiece more..
to get to know there is much bigger world than their village..

I wasn't sure though.. which life is happier..

I've been travelling a lot and sometimes I thought that I am living on just a small planet of Earth. However when I think in the other way around.. the dimension of physical space might not really matter for life..

No matter how big scale our life might span, the depth & richness of our life do not quite propotional the the spatial coverage..

So I changed my mind to envy them who has been living in the same place for a long time.. generation after generation with the all the same trees, flowers and grasses getting older togther with them.. with all the same color of moon wax and wane with same trajectory..

Just like the very first couple on earth
they were striding steadily on the dark brown soil..
seemingly barren though.. quite distant than the image of Eden..


the holy cow.. :p .. was in the process of getting energy transfer from earth after very hard work of ploughing..
Chennai Express kept on running & running
amid the vast flat land of the mid-continent..


生如浮雲
Isn't life like the clouds high above..?
Running like a bullet train, things in reality go faster than the Shakespeare's arrow..

Hey Mr. Cloud, how can you be so detached from everything?

I just watched the clouds.. totally out of my mind..
and kept enjoying the constant rhythm of the train in comfort..


I see the only tree over there..
a small but beautiful palm tree.. upright still with the long hairs..

Years ago a bird might drop a seed while she flew..
to initiate the life of the plant on the very spot.

What a miracle of life I see..
What a seemingly inadvertent but extremely well self-maintaining ecosytem furbished by the touches of the Creator..